THE FOOD ISN’T GREAT
Why would you bother spending thousands on your flowers if your food is going to taste terrible? We want a delicious meal way more than we want pretty centerpieces. You don’t know this, but we actually think of that $200 gift as a contribution to a great meal. If it’s not as good as something we’d have at a restaurant, we’re going to be disappointed. Even if the food is tasty, don’t make us go hungry. We don’t need an eight-course meal, but we don’t want to have to push through other guests just to get to the tiny hors d’oeuvres you’re calling dinner.
YOU MAKE US PAY?!
Treat your guests like guests; don’t make us bring our wallets whenever we want a drink! When you have more than 300 guests and a cash bar, we wish that you would’ve just cut the list and paid for our drinks instead. How exactly are we supposed to feel when we paid for flights, a rental car, a hotel room, and a gift, and then you make us pay at the bar? So not cool.
YOU SAT US HERE
We want to have fun at your wedding, believe us, but it’s pretty tricky when you seat us right in front of giant speakers. We won’t be able to talk to anyone at our tables or enjoy our dinner if you’re blowing out our eardrums. Before you book your venue, make sure there’s enough space for tables without having to make us sit in the DJ’s lap. And don’t make us suffer in the heat. If you’re having a summer wedding, do it somewhere with air conditioning!
Also, if you want to be outdoors, don’t make us rough it: Walking around in the mud, swatting bugs, or using porta-potties is even less fun in formal attire. And please give us plenty of places to sit. Cocktail hours are great, but it’s pretty tough to balance our plates, drinks, and purses while standing — in heels no less!